We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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