i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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