I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
