His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
