i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize