You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
