Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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