If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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