I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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