I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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