I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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