false alarm. still invincible.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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