Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
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My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize