We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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