all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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