I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
