I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My penis needs a shock collar
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
