After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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