I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
