Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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