She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
