sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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