It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
