Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
