I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
