We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
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oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
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Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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