I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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