So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
