so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
handjob tips. give me some.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
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I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize