My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize