Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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