You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I need water and some morals
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
