Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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