You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
im on a boat
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