You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
