that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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