never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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