you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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