Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
