We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
