Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
