I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
