He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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