? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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