So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
