do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
