It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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