I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
