Porn is love you can see.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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