Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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