miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
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A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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