she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?