Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
