is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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