Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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