My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
