HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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