idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
