Porn is love you can see.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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