Will you blow on my dice?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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